#anyways the puns are

[sophsun1]

JAMES MARSTERS as Spike

Buffy the Vampire Slayer – 5.07: Fool for Love

[carlyraejepsans]

stand-up man at his own wedding. because you know he would.

GO VOTE SORIEL IN THE M/F SHIP BRACKET!!!

[swiggity-swexual-i-am-asexual]

As per usual, it’s DP crossover with (probably) DC, although you could probably adjust it for other fandoms

ANYWAYS

A little kid and his mother are trick or treating in another city, perhaps at some kind of event rather than knocking on doors, and the kid is dressed as Phantom. It’s very adorable, with his little ghost-shaped bucket and clearly homemade and already stained costume—listen, white only works if you can just fly over street grime or phase it out of your clothes—and his slightly I’ll fitting wig. The kid is SO happy to be out and about dressed as his favorite, and maybe even showed it off to Phantom back in Amity Park before his family left.

The hero, insert whoever you wish here, is probably in civvies and just enjoying the event. The kid, meanwhile, is so glad when people ask who he is so he can explain, and so- the hero gets to hear ALL ABOUT the local town hero who is probably pretty small time despite the kid’s clearly exaggerated stories. The hero certainly never heard of him, but the kid’s mom confirms that Phantom really was the town hero, despite some mixed reviews of the poor guy.

“Did you manage to show him your costume?” the hero asks.

“Yeah! We went down to the cemetery to leave flowers and I got to show him my costume.”

Wait. Cemetery? Maybe it was part of theme, because Phantom had to be named that for a reason, but… it sounded like…

The kid ignores the suddenly VERY still hero and instead turns to his mom. “Momma, do you think we should bring him candy? He doesn’t get to trick or treat like we do, and I can work super hard to get him a bunch!”

The kid’s mom just smiles. “We could, but maybe we should bring him something homemade. I bet he’d like something more filling, teen boys like him have a hollow leg.”

The kid wrinkles his nose. “Like Vernie with the pizza bagels?”

“Like your cousin, yes. We can make some cinnamon rolls and take them to his memorial, maybe bring some of the apples from your grandpa’s garden…”

The hero is pretty much forgotten as the two-part family wanders off, not quite intentionally forgetting the hero is there so much as the hero somewhat accidentally ended the conversation when they just froze and didn’t ask anything further.

Not that the hero didn’t want to. But they’d learn something very serious.

One—there was a small town hero they’d never heard of. Two—that hero was apparently a teen. Third—most pressingly, the teen hero was both beloved enough to have kids dressing up as him and dead enough to have a grave.

This… might require some phone calls.

[screwpinecaprice]

Ew they're flirting again.

[yumedoca]

So yeah, 'Ranma 0.5' or something like that..

[hedgehog-moss]

I love the calzone post because the first 80% I was like "This is a bit intense, but perhaps they just live a different life than I do" and then you said 'vraiment' and I was like "Ah, French (or perhaps Wallonian)! That makes sense! I now understand the extreme social pressure!"

(btw sorry if you're actually Algerian or Quebecoise or something, I don't know anything else about your blog)

Your ask made me laugh! And I love that you're not the only one—someone else reached the end of that post and went "ah, French, well that explains it"

I thought maybe the sentence "Naturally my first assumption was that [the chef] was judging me for my food order" would make it clear that this was happening in France! I was actually telling a non-French friend the other day (when discussing a piece of US media) how insane it felt to hear a "French" character say "the customer is always right" in a restaurant.

But sometimes the customer gets impromptu catzones and that makes everything worth it <3

[dandelion-stuff-and-fluff]

I swear to god, every time I read "your bladder and bowels empty when you die," I feel like curb stomping a kitten.

No.

Your muscles stop working. If you're actively contracting a sphincter muscle to hold in your urine or feces while you're alive, then yeah, some portion is probably gonna come on out to party once that muscle stops contracting.

If not? What the hell do you think is going to force them out? Most people cannot defecate on command on a good day, using all of their abdominal muscles (for real, tho, ask the makers of Ex-lax and Metamucil). If those abdominal muscles aren't working and there is no pressure built up from actively holding it in? lolNO

Maybe a little drizzle. A little poozle. A little drippy drip.

The foretold excremental explosion is not going to happen unless you JUMP ON THE DECEASED'S BELLY. Good luck with that.

Source: I working in a fucking anatomy lab and have spent too many hours of my life trying to prevent poop explosions and siphoning bladders dry with turkey basters to keep entertaining this nonsense.

[hinamie]

quick lmhs itafushi because god help me i have Not been able to get the concept of yuuji smiling/laughing into kisses out of my head

jjk atla!au with @philosophiums

[coralnoodle]

someone signed too many contracts

[hazbingirliexoxo]

*Reader, Angel, and Husk on a heist together*

Reader: How do you think Angel will distract them?

Husk: He’ll probably, like set off an alarm or throw a rock or something. That’s what I would do

Angel: *moaning loudly and sensually at a nearby distance*

Husk: ….

Reader: ….or he could do that

[froopa-coopa]

small pen doodle because uh their ship name is teaholding??!

[spineless-lobster]

Achilles and his wretched son neopronouns

[gncrezan]

@chrysanthemumgames in the hades game style! been putting a loooot of hours into hades 2 so this was only a matter of time (and the full portraits under the cut!)

[luzho]

the zukka puns... continue!!

originally a bad joke by jeff, with the scenery of the first panel based on the Jianbi pavilion in the Old Summer Palace in Beijing and the pose of the second panel based on this photo. i am very happy with how the perspective and the colors turned out :) i should make more architectural drawings for fun

[cubedmango]

toyota-sensei's halloween 2022 AUs (case1, case2, case3) — english translation

[heartless-aro]

Being a cold heartless spinster who loves no one is such hard work! I spend all this time spinning silk, and weaving it into intricate patterns, and catching hapless prey in my webs, and sinking my fangs into them, and yet no one ever appreciates my efforts!!! It’s so hard to be aro ::::(